


Crack Me Up

by lordjenjen



Series: South Park Kink Meme Fills [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: How the FUCK is this the first fic in this pairing!?, Humor, Jimmy needs more love 2k18, M/M, Prompt Fill, Someone tell me I'm wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 14:37:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15075263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lordjenjen/pseuds/lordjenjen
Summary: Tweek and Craig break up. Jimmy helps out a friend.





	Crack Me Up

Crack me up

***

Jimmy pretended to be a simple man, laughs and lays. He liked to make people laugh and he liked to get them laid, preferably by himself. So when Tweek Tweak came over in need, Jimmy was all over it. 

“I just don't know what to do!”

“Yo-y-you pick yourself up long enough to have r-r-rheee-reboud sex.”

“GAH! No way man! I can't just have sex with a some random guy in a bar!”

“I mean come on. It doesn't have to be some s-s-s-strrr, some st-st-straaaaa, some straaaaaaa. Some random person.”

“Right. Let me just go ask Craig to fuck me out of misery.”

“Don't be a b-b-bitch. Fuck a friend.”

“A friend, Jimmy? GAH! Your not supposed to fuck your friends! Don't Fuck Your Friends! Besides! Kenny is probably fucking Craig by now! I just… GAAHHHHH!!”

Tweek threw his head into his hands as he screamed. Jimmy just rubbed his back for a moment expecting the man to start crying or hug him, instead he just screamed.

“H-h-h-how about something t-t-to eat?”

“I'm not hungry.”

“You love fish sticks though.”

Tweek chuckled at the old joke, but Jimmy knew it was a start. “Why do cows have hooves and not feet?”

“Why?”

“B-b-because they lactose!”

Tweek let out another chuckle and raised his head. They stared at each other a moment before Jimmy spoke again. After all, delivery was everything.

“Did I tell you about my last b-b-brrreeh my last b-break up?”

“No. What happened?”

“She told me over dinner that for starters my jokes were lame.”

“No! You're funny,” Tweek said resting his hand reassuringly on Jimmy's knee. He couldn't really feel it, but he could see it, so his brain told him it was warm and comforting.

“I-I-I know right? I asked her wu-wu-what was the main course.”

It took a moment for Tweek to crack, but he soon let out a laugh, leaning into Jimmy. 

“Thank you. You've been a great audience.”

“You've been a great friend.”

Tweek stared at Jimmy's face, his eyes slowly lowering to his lips. He licked his own lips as he had a staring contest with Jimmy's. 

Jimmy did the only logical thing, he slowly leaned in and pressed his lips to Tweek's. Tweek was hesitant at first, be he soon responded to Jimmy's kiss.

Tweek broke off first, leaning his head against Jimmy's.

“I'm not sure we should be doing this.”

“Do you w-w-want to?”

“It's not that I don't. I do. Nnnnh- I just-”

Jimmy cut Tweek off by kissing him again. As he worked Tweek's mouth, he grabbed the man's hips, using his full strength to pull the man into his lap. 

“You're in cah-cah-caaaah. You're in caaaahaaah. You're in ca-control and can stop it if you like.”

Emotions flashed too fast for Jimmy to read before Tweek's mouth was in his own, much more needy than before, but he was getting to the point. He stroked Jimmy's cock through his trousers. Jimmy reached behind Tweek, grabbing his ass, tips of his fingers dangerously close to his crack. Tweek moaned, his hands running up Jimmy's chest.

Tweek abruptly broke the kiss and pulled on Jimmy shirt. The man lifted his arms and allowed his shirt to be removed and thrown across the room.

“Holy fuck,” Tweek whispered.

Jimmy knew. He wore loose shirts on purpose. People didn't think twice about the man with unworking spaghetti legs until they saw him without a shirt. Jimmy was beyond just toned. He received this reaction a lot from his partners when they would see his chest for the first time. 

“It w-w-will be when I have you s-s-screaming Oh God.” Jimmy purposely flexed a few chest muscles before reaching for Tweek's shirt. 

Tweek raised his arms, allowing Jimmy to remove his shirt before he placed his hands on the man's abs. He ran his hands up his chest and back down, stopping at the hem of his pants. Tweek played with the button, eyes wondering over every inch of Jimmy's bare skin.

He seemed to come to an internal decision and began tearing away at Jimmy's pants. Jimmy pulled Tweek down for another kiss and began working on Tweek's zipper. He freed Tweek's erection through his fly. He was surprised Tweek obviously man-scaped. The blonde pubes were neatly trimmed, a clear separation from them and the slight fuzz on his abdomen. He'd rarely seen even the obviously gay men trim like this, and he honestly liked it. 

Jimmy placed one hand in the small of Tweek's back as he bent forward towards the man's chest, kissing his sternum before moving on to play with his nipples. He couldn't help but think the noises escaping Tweek were adorable. The little “Nnnhhh-” and “Gaaaah” came out as gasps and moans as his hand slowly stroked his cock. He other hand lowered itself from Tweek's back, pushing the waist of his pants down a bit to expose the pale flesh. He squeezed one cheek gently, finger tips dipping into the valley between the two globes.

“Jim-Jimmy,” Tweek half moaned as he placed his hands on his shoulders, pushing a little. “Hold on. Nnngh-- Wait.”

Jimmy let his finger caress Tweek’s ass slightly. “Is something w-ww-wwww-wrong?”

“Nnnnot exactly, it’s just… I-aaah-” Tweek let out a surprised gasp as Jimmy fingers danced dangerously close to his asshole. “I haven’t bottomed in a long time,” he finished in a rush.

“Is that a p-p-p-preference? Do you want to t-t-taaaa… Do you want to taaaa- to t-t-top?”

“No! It’s just-” Tweek seemed to be at loss for words.

Jimmy moved his hand from Tweeks dick and reached between the couch cushion and arm as if digging for the remote. His hand found the box it was searching for, expertly opening it and grabbed what it needed along with the bottle outside the box. He extracted his hand, grin as wide as his face would allow.

“Ne-ne-never fear. I’ll take good care of you.”

Tweek stared wide eyed at the condom.

“Th-th-there’s a box down there.”

Tweek relaxed visibly as Jimmy popped the cap on the lube. Without being prompted, Tweek slid off Jimmy’s lap and removed his pants haphazardly. 

“Would you nnn-like your pants off?”

“As long as you don't mind I s-s-skipped leg day for the past twenty-five years.”

Tweek let out a laugh. “So have I. It's cool.”

With as much grace as a newborn gazelle, Tweek removed Jimmy's pants shoes and underwear, in that order. Jimmy did his best to hold back his laughter, but soon enough, Tweek was sliding back into Jimmy's lap.

Jimmy lubed up two fingers before closing the bottle and setting it down. His unlubed hand grasped Tweek’s erect member as the other began teasing his asshole. Tweek's breath picked up a bit as Jimmy's finger played with the tight ring a bit before sliding the tip of his middle finger in. The muscle was tight and definitely used infrequently. It was a shame to Jimmy. Tweek made such delicious noises just from his one finger, he felt Tweek should always be playing with his ass. 

His middle finger slowly fucked Tweek's hole, preparing it. When he let out a particularly needy sound, Jimmy added a second finger. He was trying to get Tweek ready in the best way possible to encourage the man to live free a little. Tweek however didn't want slow.

“Mmmmooore,” Tweek moaned almost riding Jimmy's fingers.

“In a b-b-b-bit.”

“Now.”

“Y-y-you’re not-”

Tweek grabbed Jimmy's face, squeezing his cheeks together between his palms. “I swear to fucking God, Jimmy. I want you to fuck my ass up. I want you to stretch it and fuck it. I want you to fuck me so hard it leaves-ahhh!”

Jimmy didn't need to be told twice. He pulled his fingers out and added more lube before shoving three of them into Tweek's ass before he could finish. It was a tight fit, but seemed to be what the man wanted as he cried out in pleasure. He all but rode the fingers as Jimmy attempted to make it as pleasurable as possible for Tweek.

Just as Tweek seemed to really get into Jimmy's fingers, he removed them. Tweek whimpered but waited patiently for Jimmy. He momentarily debated exploring where the line between sub and dom ended for Tweek. That was short lived as his dick reminded him it was in serious need of attention. Tweek didn't wait for Jimmy's dick to decide anything. He used his teeth to rip open the package and slapping the opened package to Jimmy's forehead.

“Fuck me before we both die of need and dysentery!”

“I'm working on it.”

Jimmy rolled the condom on, carelessly throwing the wrapper as he added a little lube to the condom. His dick was barely touching Tweek's asshole before the man was lowering himself on to it.

Tweek's ass was impossibly tight to Jimmy. He wasn't overly endowed. His dick was a little bigger than average, but Tweek's ass was making him feel like he was hung like a penis from a enhancement add. He gripped Tweek's hips tightly as he moaned. Tweek wasted no time in adjusting to Jimmy's cock before he began riding it without reservation. 

Moans filled the apartment as Jimmy filled Tweek's ass. Tweek reached for his own dick as he rode Jimmy's cock. He wasn't going to last long.

Tweek came with a moan, spraying both of their chests with his jizz. He stopped, bracing himself on Jimmy's shoulders. 

“A-a-are you good?” Jimmy asked, his hands resting on Tweek's hips, thumbs rubbing soothingly.

“Oh… god yes.”

“Good.”

Jimmy gripped Tweek's hips, raising him up a bit before pulling him back down. The look of pleasure and shock on his face is what Jimmy lived for. The full realization of what his muscles were capable of and how he intended to is them. The deep moans because barely audible and high pitched as Jimmy continued his assault. He never was capable of cumming quickly either, which was both fortunate and unfortunate for his partners.

Tweek surprised him by grabbed his dick and stroking it. Jimmy grinned and began fucking Tweek harder. No sound escaped Tweek as he came a second time, spilling his seed more over his hand than anywhere else. All strength left Tweek with his second orgasm, turning into a ragdoll and leaning into the muscular chest beneath him. 

Jimmy took pity on the man, no longer holding back his own orgasm. He slammed Tweek's hips into his own, trying to get off. Even though his body was spent, Tweek managed to let out a few words of encouragement. Jimmy's own orgasm hit him and he came, dick buried into Tweek's spent ass.

He let the hips go, a clear sign he was done fucking the man. Instead he let his fingers roam over Tweek's sweat slicked back. Slowly Tweek's breathing returned, he'd thought he killed the man had it not been for his pounding heart. 

“Wh-wh-what’s the difference between a-a-anal and oral sex?” Jimmy asked once he could breathe again?

Tweek hummed a questioning tone, still too tired to speak. 

“One makes your whole d-d-day, the other makes your hole weak.”

The two were quite as Jimmy let the joke sink in. Tweek's laughter started slow, a little chuckle, but quickly built into a gut wrenching laugh, his ass massaging his cock still deep in him. Tweek's body seemed to realize it too as he stopped laughing and let out a moan.

“Oh God. No more please.”

“I g-g-guess your could say, I crack you up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kink Meme prompt fill. Seriously how the fuck is there not more Jimmy Loving? GIVE JIMMY MORE FUCKS 2K18
> 
> Thanks for reading you kinky fucks. Feel free to leave feedback


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